Religion has always been a difficult subject for me. Without going into the details, suffice it to say that it is a loaded topic in our house. Luckily, though, Ben and I find ourselves on the same page about it.
When we first looked into embryo adoption a year and a half ago, we immediately noticed something: A lot of these agencies were Christian-centered.
Before I go any further, I have to note that nothing written here is meant to offend or slight people of the Christian faith. Many people whom I hold very dear are Christian and I would never dream of making a judgement about a person based on their religion.
When we found out that most of these agencies were Christian-based, it really bummed us out. We felt discouraged, as though we wouldn’t be chosen based on our religion. In fact, we were turned away from an agency here in Colorado because they “probably wouldn’t be able to find a couple interested in us.”
For a moment I was full of bitterness. But then I realized that if these were my embryos, and I were trying to find a home for them, I might choose someone non-religious over religious if I had two sets of couples, both of whom I liked.
This choice implies that you have some degree of control over the situation when in actuality you don’t. People change and grow and sometimes make mistakes, so the person you adopt out to may very well not be the same person by the time they’re raising these kids; that’s just the reality. Plus, once the papers are signed those children are no longer yours to make choices for. It’s an incredibly difficult choice to make.
Christianity can be such a lovely thing. I hear of couples who adopt and their churches take up collections to help them pay for it. It is an immediate connector between two people when all they have in common is the internet. I’m sure the spiritual benefits are many.
The first thing people’s minds go to is the ‘respect of life’ debate. I’ll admit, when we first started considering embryo adoption, I worried about the implications. It has taught me new perspective on the subject, though. These embryos represent hope for Ben and I; they mean so much to us. But they are just a cluster of cells. Do they feel pain? No. Would I be in pain if I lost them? Absolutely.
The point of this post is to start a dialogue between people who are considering embryo adoption, both religious and non-religious. We find ourselves in the same club, which doesn’t happen every day. I think that is just so cool.
What are your thoughts on this?